life in the fast lane..............................

Over the last couple of days it seems everything is spinning out of control..... Christmas gone in a flash, New years slept till my love woke me up from my massive head ache, I have been in my "mood" lately, anyone who knows me knows what I am talking about, then my best friend texted me, and informed me of a tragic accident that had happened, The O'Neal family.... My first thoughts were Oh My Gosh those poor babies and Katy. I sat back and looked over at my husband who honestly I have taken for granted lately, but for some reason he looked different to me.... a sense of growing older but in a graceful way, I saw in his face what it would be like if that were me in this families situation, James has been a firefighter forever, they knew the risks but it never occurred that it would happen to them...my husband drives a truck everyday, could I be that strong for my kids if he were hurt? I know the risks of him getting in that flimsy metal truck daily, but I never seen it the way I did that day, I saw something I had forgotten was there, and that was true love, I had been so busy worrying about piddly stupid things that I had forgotten what we had together. I chose to start focusing on us, stop trying to be super woman and doing everything, as most of you also know I get tired quickly now with the kidney disease, but I push myself to do more and more and more. Then once again today I started worrying...about what you say? CRAP that's right CRAP unimportant stupid nothing!!!! And I saw a facebook post of a woman who decided she didn't want to pay hundreds of dollars for family photos called and cancelled her session with her private photographer, then went and blew the money on getting her nails hair etc done, 2 weeks later she got the call she didn't want to receive, her cancer had come back and spread too quickly to treat, she felt she had wasted the money on nails and hair that to her now wasn't important, because now she was dying and very quick, the photos could have been a cherished item to her 2 and 6 year old children, I couldn't come back from that one......... I decided today that my kids and my husband will be my everything. You never know what will happen in your life, who knows I could be gone tomorrow so many people say "live for today because tomorrow may never come" I'm actually going to do that not just say it and move on...... So is "life in the fast lane" worth it or is taking that time to enjoy your family and friends more important to you?