life in the fast lane..............................

Over the last couple of days it seems everything is spinning out of control..... Christmas gone in a flash, New years slept till my love woke me up from my massive head ache, I have been in my "mood" lately, anyone who knows me knows what I am talking about, then my best friend texted me, and informed me of a tragic accident that had happened, The O'Neal family.... My first thoughts were Oh My Gosh those poor babies and Katy. I sat back and looked over at my husband who honestly I have taken for granted lately, but for some reason he looked different to me.... a sense of growing older but in a graceful way, I saw in his face what it would be like if that were me in this families situation, James has been a firefighter forever, they knew the risks but it never occurred that it would happen to them...my husband drives a truck everyday, could I be that strong for my kids if he were hurt? I know the risks of him getting in that flimsy metal truck daily, but I never seen it the way I did that day, I saw something I had forgotten was there, and that was true love, I had been so busy worrying about piddly stupid things that I had forgotten what we had together. I chose to start focusing on us, stop trying to be super woman and doing everything, as most of you also know I get tired quickly now with the kidney disease, but I push myself to do more and more and more. Then once again today I started worrying...about what you say? CRAP that's right CRAP unimportant stupid nothing!!!! And I saw a facebook post of a woman who decided she didn't want to pay hundreds of dollars for family photos called and cancelled her session with her private photographer, then went and blew the money on getting her nails hair etc done, 2 weeks later she got the call she didn't want to receive, her cancer had come back and spread too quickly to treat, she felt she had wasted the money on nails and hair that to her now wasn't important, because now she was dying and very quick, the photos could have been a cherished item to her 2 and 6 year old children, I couldn't come back from that one......... I decided today that my kids and my husband will be my everything. You never know what will happen in your life, who knows I could be gone tomorrow so many people say "live for today because tomorrow may never come" I'm actually going to do that not just say it and move on...... So is "life in the fast lane" worth it or is taking that time to enjoy your family and friends more important to you?  

The time of my life.............

When you think of the time of your life you think of a trip or vacation....... when I think of the time of my life  I think of these moments in my life right now, no trip or vacation, but the time of school football games with Hannah, School carnivals with all the kiddos, class parties, being homeroom mom, being on the PFC board with the schools, having family time that is just relaxing and not stressed. The other night we decided to have a campfire with the kids and tell scary stories like I once did as a kid, to sit and watch my children enjoy just sitting in front of a fire roasting hot dogs and listening to Garrett tell them stories made me think about how fast life goes by, looking at Brandon and seeing that he is no longer the baby I once carried on my hip is a young man, Cy who once was a little stinker getting into everything and not ever staying still is sitting quietly listening very intensively, Hannah who will always look like a baby to is now worried about what she should wear and if she looks ok even though we are sitting in front of a fire with just us there, and Westin is no longer the baby that let me carry all over the place is now walking around holding his head high to show he wasn't scared of the "Lion" his daddy was speaking of in the story. People don't look at life as these times being the "time of your life" they are worried about vacations and how much they spent to buy their kids a new video game, and running off to resorts and leaving their kids with a sitter they may not even know. This is the life I enjoy, I enjoy the slow passed life off carving pumpkins and doing holiday crafts together as a family instead of buying premade pumpkins because your too busy to take time to sit down and make a little messed that easily cleans up and make the memories with your kids so in hopes one day they will do the same things with their children, sooooooo the next time you think of "the time of your life" think about is it really the time of your life or are you letting the most important times in your life pass you by?

summer is here!!!!!!!!!

So my kiddos are finally out of school!!!!!!!! I am super excited and worried at the same time. When school starts next year all four of my babies will be in school full time, I am sad to know Brandon will be in Middle School, he has grown up so fast I can't believe he is already a pre-teen, it was just yesterday that he was my baby, just me and him, now he has brothers and a sister and a cell phone and a laptop and is able to hold adult conversations. I wish I could go back to when he was my little snuggle baby, but now he is grown up, Cy is going into 2nd grade and that means alot for him, he has started liking girls(he is only8) and he has started his attitude a little early so I am hoping he gets the attitude part ou before hitting teenage years, Hannah is going into 1st grade, I am super sad, I loved her Kindergarten teacher, she actually has had Brandon, Cy, Hannah, and next year will have Westin, she is a great teacher and has grown to be a great friend also, Hannah is going to do cheer this coming up year and she is so mature for her age, It hurts me to see her grow up so fast, And Westin will be in school all day for kindergarten, I am worried how he will react to all day being away from me? We are always together now he will be gone all day :-( And last myself, what am I going to do? I am on the PFC at the kids school so that will keep me a little busy but now all my babies are out of the bay stages, I am super sad that I will not be able to baby them anymore!!!!I love them and I am so blessed to have them in my life, I will cherish every moment I have with them They are my life!!!!!

Today I was asked a question by my loving husband..... he said 
            "OK are you gonna be freaking out all day and tomorrow because of this guy saying the world is going to end?'
  Well if any of you know me you know why he said this to me. I am one of those people who freak out about everything, I lock all my windows and doors even during daytime, I don't let my kids play outside without me EVER!, I can't go camping without thinking someone will kill me in the middle of the night, I don't react properly to the "2012" idea, I can go on and on..... But today I thought to myself when Garrett said those words to me"the world is going to end" I thought you know I worry a little to much about little things in life and not enough about the big things. I don't think tomorrow will be the end of the world, In the bible it states God and God alone know the date and time of his return not some guy who says he is a preacher and convinced others to give up everything they had.. their homes, savings, and any other investments they had, I believe in God and God alone, I will no longer worry about the end of the earth because only my God can take me home when he is ready, My Faith in God will see me through my worries and through the deceivers in this world, God has given me a loving husband who would do anything for me, 5 beautiful children who I am so proud of that they have chosen my religion over their fathers religion of Buddha, my parents are my parents and I love them with everything  I have, my in laws are my in laws and I love them as if they had been here my whole life. I have what I wanted out of life. A loving family, a loving husband, a personal relationship with God. I know that when my time comes I will have fulfilled everything in my life, what else do I need I have God and my family they are all that matters, and some guy trying to predict the end o the earth will not change me, I am me and God loves me this way!!!!!!!!!!!

The love of a sister

Today is one of those days............

          Today is Cherishs' 22nd Birthday, I have been up and down on feelings all day. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I get mad and then I get depressed......even though I  was only in her life for 2 years nothing can ever change my feeling of love and happiness with her. She was a very strong little girl who showed the world no matter what happens in life you fight and you fight hard. She fought for as long as she could. She finally decided enough is enough and went home to heaven,  I just hope if I am ever put in her situation I can be as strong as a 2 year old little girl.

I wonder what it would have been like to have 2 sisters growing up, would she had been quiet and shy like Casey? Or would she have been outgoing and wild like me? Today would have been a day we would celebrate her birthday with cakes and balloons and presents, family and friends.....instead I take beautiful bright blue, green, pink and orange flowers to a grave where I sit and look at a headstone with a little angel holding a teddy with the words

 "Cherish Danyell Jennings"

"April 27th 1989- December 20th1991"

"Our Darling Angel"

I want to go back to the days where I was the big sister holding my baby sister, kissing her, playing with her.....but instead I use my foot and random twigs to remove mud from her headstone because once again her headstone is sinking into the ground on the left side......

I think to myself of the days to come when I do get to be with her again and I become very emotional......

I try to walk away but then feel as if I am abandoning her here all alone.......

I finally decided it was time to go, my husband follows me ever so quietly back to the car, nothing has been said the 30 minutes we have stayed at her grave, once in the car I couldn't leave I sat for another 10 minutes or so and begged God to give me the strength I needed to leave her their once again....

God answered my prayer as I started my car and drove away on the cloudy rainy sad 22nd Birthday....

a day in the lfe of a princess

                                 A Day In The Life Of A Princess

getting her nails painted hot pink!

                                                                

don't forget her toes!

 

Now time to sit back and let the drying begin!

 Beautiful toes with a cute little white flower and don't forget the matching flower on her thumbs!!!!!!                                   

Look how cute Hannah and Jersey are!!!!!

Such a Diva!!!!!

Hannah's 7th Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone decorating their chef aprons!!!!!! 

All the yummy snacks!!!!!!

 We had chocolate covered strawberries,pretzels,marshmallows, white and chocolate cake pops,and chocolate bowls filled with caramel ganache!!!!!!!!!!!!

that's a lot of chocolate!!!!!

                                                  

                                                       The Cake!!!!!!!!!

Hannah's cake had four layers;

Banana

chocolate mint

lemon

mocha

Hannah's balloons with her name on them and red with white hearts

Me and my cousin Alex helping kiddos with aprons

                             The Birthday Princess decorating her cupcake, (one of the many thing we did)

Poppy and Hannah with the special cupcake he made just for her!

She is waiting patiently for her presents!!!!

                              My 3 bestest helpers at the party, And fav aunts and uncle of Hannah Nannah

Look aunt Chelsey won the drawing twice(her once, Nick once)

she has the right idea, she took Nicks ticket and got 2 prizes for herself

Mrs. Burchfield  and mema Charlie won prizes

Meme won a prize

                                                         Cassie's Mommy won a prize

Happy Birthday Baby girl we love you!!!!!!!!

cakes of love......



                                     

Rachel's Birthday Cake!!!

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This cake is soooo cute,I  made this cake for my sister-n-laws 20th Birthday! Everything on this cake is edible vanilla fondant.

The cake is a strawberry pound cake. I used two packages of strawberries in the cake mix.

I also put a full pack of strawberries into a homemade butter cream icing, made 2 12' round cakes and put  butter cream and  cut fresh strawberries in between the 2 layers of cake, all of the flowers were edible including the cute bumble bees, ladybugs, and butterflies, which were made by none other than.... My mom, I have taught her well, she did such a great job! 

A baby shower cake for my cousin Nickolas' first born son Nathaniel Leslie David Laplant!!!

The bottom layer of the cake is a yummy apple cinnamon cake, this was by mistake actually, I was making a apple pie and ha open a can of apple pie filling, not paying attention I had poured the pie filling in my pound cake mix so I thought I would just go with it, I added a second can and about 2 1/2 cups cinnamon.To my amazement it was delicious!!!! Everyone was very pleased, the baby bump was a chocolate pound cake, recipe from "The Bag Lady"

Of course the cake was covered in a lemon flavored butter cream icing and then covered in blue and teal non-flavored fondant

The little blue ducky's are all edible made out of candy melts and chocolate!

And last but not least my sisters birthday was March 26th.

She only wanted cake pops so I made her colored cake pops!!!!!! 



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